As a I move further into my adult life, and am making “bigger” moves, it occurs to me that I have never had a clear picture of who I look up to. I have never even articulated or seen the one person that I most revere or emulate.
Of course I have seen bits and pieces, namely in my parents. They are incredibly smart, industrious, practical, successful, and, most importantly, generous and kind people.
The reality of being an immigrant family in the 70s is that we were distanced from our extended family. I never grew up with my grandparents; I only got to know 2 of them a little bit and mostly right before they died. The aunties and uncles I knew growing up were not ‘blood’ family, but dear family nonetheless. They were also immigrated and distanced like us in blue AirMail, pre-What’s App family life.
I don’t know when I knew that I was a different person than my lineage, sex, and family history would have me be. But I remember having a realization, around 13 years old, that if I was going to be ‘me,’ I was going to have to invent that. While my teachers and parents were clearly fantastic humans and role models, they did things the right way, as did my aunties and uncles. And I knew I wasn’t meant for that.
Where was I going to find a mouthy, woman, activist/advocate, who also understood what it meant to be unliked? Maybe even to be unloved?
Some kids wanted to emulate Michael Jordan. The closest I found was Noam Chomsky. Though he sure as heck isn’t a brown woman, and most likely had a much wider berth in saying unpopular things!
Years later I learned of an ‘aunt’ that I had (wife of my mom’s cousin). I got to know her very briefly after our families reconnected, and then unfortunately she passed away 2 years later. What I learned about her is that she was an activist/advocate social worker who got her roots in Chicago. It sounded like she was pretty badass.
Where the heck was she when I needed a role model?!! Of course my mind rattled with all of the possibilities of her mentorship, what it could have meant to have known someone who picked a less lucrative and ‘weird’ career path, and of having been just a little more normal as a result.
When I think about my little inner self, and hopefully compel you to think about yours, how could knowing someone ‘like you’ in the world to emulate have changed you?
And if you never got to know that person, well, maybe you can be that person for someone else. Someone who is looking for your unique brand of doing shit your own way. Someone you haven’t met. Including yourself 😉
I have an eight year-old so I think a lot about what they are doing right now at this time in their lives. Sure, they are growing and farting a lot. But mostly, I am curious about their inner lives and how that plays out into adolescence and adulthood. Is he going to be OK? Will he always know his worth and how loved he is? Will he hold himself as dearly to himself as I see, appreciate, and love him? Will he know that he deserves to?
If you are reading this and wondering about self-love, self-worth, and self-care, I don’t mean, “Will he take himself out for pedicures and PSLs?” I mean- will he look himself dead in the eye in the morning and be able to respond with irrepressible kindness? Will he fill his well with deep, enduring love all on his own so that when life gets really shitty and rough (which it will), he has something to draw from? That’s the kind of self-care I’m about.
Many of you know that I teach, and one of my favorite classes is Lifespan Development and Psychology. But I don’t really teach the books (no shocker); I love for us to think about why some aspects of development and behavior are normal and what that says about us. Because whether we were “normal,” or seen and loved, kind affects everything, right?
I don’t really see anyone overdosing from too much love, too much irrepressible kindness, or being seen and acknowledged for who we are. Which means, we could always have more. We could do that all that time for ourselves; you don’t even have to wait for someone else to love or see you for yourself.
You could look your own self dead in the eye, see yourself, and say, “I love you.” And mean it.
Try that out today. Let me know how it goes.
PS- If you need a little inspo to start talking to your littler self, check out this Ted Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD4O7ama3o8
I love talking about how acupuncture has been part of my life for 16 years, even before @jp.boisvert brought it full circle to our clinic and home
We have used acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine, tui na, gua sha, and cupping for years to treat fevers, stave off colds, deal with whiplash and sticky shoulders, vanquish back pain and migraines, and generally manage our health for a long time
It’s true that we also take care to move our bodies and sleep, but I definitely credit acupuncture and Chinese medicine with our family’s pretty rocking health. And I credit @jp.boisvert for being our family doctor
He has some awesome stories about how acupuncture has flipped the switch for debilitating anxiety in teens, how a Chinese herbal formula worked like a charm in families trying to get pregnant, moxabustion and turning babies at the ends of pregnancy, and more!
More than just pain management, people are looking at acupuncture as a way to manage mood, anxiety, and to work alongside our other therapies like medications or nutrients that we use to adjust our chemistry.
Stay tuned this week for Acu Adventures!
Hey all, we took a little break beween Summer and Fall Quarters, but the Pediatric Teaching Clinic starts back up this upcoming week. We have moved the day and time to Thursdays 2:00pm to 5:00pm and you can schedule online via our Patient Portal.
We had a great time with our inagural run of the Pediatric Teaching Clinic this Summer and are looking forward to working with our new team of students this Fall!
#docere #naturopathicpediatrics #nds4vaccines #teacherforlife
I am personally involved in planning this wonderful event that helps support birth in Washington State and the local non-profit Families of Color – Seattle.
Better yet, Rohan and I are run/walking!
Join us on Oct. 19th at Marymoor Park for a family-friendly run/walk 5K! Strollers and leashed pets are welcome to join in on this community enriching event!
Register for the race at https://runsignup.com/Race/WA/Redmond/WAMilesforMidwives5K
To learn more about Miles for Midwives please visit our website: https://www.wamilesformidwives.com/
We are also looking for sponsors. If you are interested or know a business who might be, please let me know.
I would LOVE to see you and your family/friends there – Please spread the word!
Velodrome Shelter at King County’s Marymoor Park
6046 West Lake Sammamish Pkwy NE
Redmond, WA US 98052
We are getting together on Thursday September 26th to discuss new changes to our laws and legend drugs for Licensed Midwives in Washington state.
If you are a midwife, an aspiring midwife, or other birth attendant serving families in WA State, please come learn more about how this affects midwives, their support teams (including doulas), and families! #washingtonmidwives
It’s never an easy thing to decide to put your thoughts and ideas out into the world. And sometimes it’s just the right moment to expand the conversation beyond the one-on-one dynamic or the usual echo chambers.
Thanks to @BBrozy and @keoniteta for inviting me to come chat with them, share some thoughts, and contribute to the ongoing conversation on #vaccinations.
Check it out and let me know what you think!
Click here to listen: Vaccinations with Dr. Sunita Iyer ND