Living and Grief

I was able to sit with my friend and colleague, Abby Desjardien, to chat about grief and living, and how they are both big and sometime equal parts of this human existence. And maybe that grief is necessary, instructive, and not as dark or scary as we think. Check out her newly launched podcast and our episode here: The Art of Living and Grieving with Dr. Sunita Iyer Enjoy! #griefworkislifework #griefworkismywork #heartoutsideforever Continue reading Living and Grief

Postpartum Grief, Depression, and Anxiety

I spend a lot of time with postpartum people. Figuring out how to hold their hearts and help them thrive after the birth. Talking through the transition from person to parent, or established parent to parent of yet another. All of it is new, and all of it fraught with uncertainty. People rarely talk about the grief of being a new parent, and really of parenting, period. When you choose to parent, we have to acknowledge that not all people choose and some are forced to. And even still, in all situations, there is a grief. We decide or have … Continue reading Postpartum Grief, Depression, and Anxiety

Mothering Day

What is Mother’s Day anyway? Brunch, bubbles, and blooms? I have always had a hard time with this day, even after I became a mother. It never quite met the expectation I had of digging into what it means to mother or be mothered. And I guess I have a problem with life events that are supposed to be important and beautiful, but feel more like small talk. I have my mother in my life and she is a great mother. But it wasn’t always that way for me. We are pretty different people. We see risk differently, we approach … Continue reading Mothering Day

El Dia Internacional de la Matrona

Today is May 5th. Some folks think of it as a good day for margaritas and tacos. It’s also International Day of the Midwife. This is a day, acknowledged all around the world, where we honor the people who quietly walk through fire as a way of life and a profession. Midwives are the attendants for most births around the world. In some places they are traditionally trained by their elders. In many or most places (and in ALL the places that have better maternity and neonatal outcomes than the USA…) Midwives are very highly trained in sitting on their … Continue reading El Dia Internacional de la Matrona

Being Born Isn’t the Only Thing That Hurts…

In the last two years I have changed my work-life balance. One may look at my 4 or 5 spinning plates and not find a shred of balance…It’s a practice; not a destination. At least that’s what I tell myself. One of the ways that I have radically shifted my life is not being on call anymore. I started being on call nearly 20 years ago, working with adolescents who were becoming young parents or were already parenting. And then I shifted into being on call as a midwife attending births 13 years ago. Pagers and phones have accessorized my … Continue reading Being Born Isn’t the Only Thing That Hurts…

Who do you look up to?

As a I move further into my adult life, and am making “bigger” moves, it occurs to me that I have never had a clear picture of who I look up to. I have never even articulated or seen the one person that I most revere or emulate. Of course I have seen bits and pieces, namely in my parents. They are incredibly smart, industrious, practical, successful, and, most importantly, generous and kind people. The reality of being an immigrant family in the 70s is that we were distanced from our extended family. I never grew up with my grandparents; … Continue reading Who do you look up to?

The Birth of Postpartum

Hey y’all, I recently spoke on a podcast with my fantastic colleague Dr. Adam Rinde about postpartum care, stories, and how people’s lives have changed mine. And maybe how we can get better as a healthcare system, providers, and community in the way that we care for postpartum people. He has written this really incredible piece on postpartum depression and hormonal influences, linked here: https://www.soundintegrative.com/post/is-postpartum-depression-an-estrogen-receptor-issue The way to get to our episode on his podcast, One Thing, is linked in the article (you can access via Apple or Android). Take a listen and tell me what you think! Apple listeners: … Continue reading The Birth of Postpartum

The Birth of Grief

A new mom and her baby had come in for their first well-child visit and her son was just 3 days old.  Mom was tired and overwhelmed as many new parents are.  She was sitting by the window, changing her son’s diaper and just watching him, and she sighed a long, heavy sigh.  And just gazed at her son quietly as he wiggled around.  There was no slow smile or beaming pride.  Just deep sadness.   What clinical guidelines, healthcare, and social convention tell us is that she was exhibiting signs of postpartum depression.  While that may also have been true, … Continue reading The Birth of Grief

Month of Remembrance

For as long as I can remember, March has always been a really uncomfortable month. Whether here in the PNW or back in the Northeast, March is incredibly strange. It’s wet, cold, windy, sunny, glorious, and in swift rotation. But March and early April has been strange for over 20 years for other reasons too. My grandfather died in March. My nephew died in March. And so did a baby I cared for. And my aunt. Then in April, my grandmother. And Michelle. Strangely, in these same 4 or 5 weeks, over the course two decades, many people I cared … Continue reading Month of Remembrance