The Birth of Postpartum

Hey y’all, I recently spoke on a podcast with my fantastic colleague Dr. Adam Rinde about postpartum care, stories, and how people’s lives have changed mine. And maybe how we can get better as a healthcare system, providers, and community in the way that we care for postpartum people. He has written this really incredible piece on postpartum depression and hormonal influences, linked here: https://www.soundintegrative.com/post/is-postpartum-depression-an-estrogen-receptor-issue The way to get to our episode on his podcast, One Thing, is linked in the article (you can access via Apple or Android). Take a listen and tell me what you think! Apple listeners: … Continue reading The Birth of Postpartum

The Birth of Grief

A new mom and her baby had come in for their first well-child visit and her son was just 3 days old.  Mom was tired and overwhelmed as many new parents are.  She was sitting by the window, changing her son’s diaper and just watching him, and she sighed a long, heavy sigh.  And just gazed at her son quietly as he wiggled around.  There was no slow smile or beaming pride.  Just deep sadness.   What clinical guidelines, healthcare, and social convention tell us is that she was exhibiting signs of postpartum depression.  While that may also have been true, … Continue reading The Birth of Grief

Month of Remembrance

For as long as I can remember, March has always been a really uncomfortable month. Whether here in the PNW or back in the Northeast, March is incredibly strange. It’s wet, cold, windy, sunny, glorious, and in swift rotation. But March and early April has been strange for over 20 years for other reasons too. My grandfather died in March. My nephew died in March. And so did a baby I cared for. And my aunt. Then in April, my grandmother. And Michelle. Strangely, in these same 4 or 5 weeks, over the course two decades, many people I cared … Continue reading Month of Remembrance

What kind of loss is harder?

If you have been following along for a little while, you know that one of the things I have been ruminating and writing about is loss. We all know it in some way. And we will certainly know more. To live is to love, and also to lose. It’s not uncommon for us to ‘rank’ loss. Which kind of loss is worse, changes us more deeply, is more worthy of grieving, or warrants talking about at all. Is the loss of an aging parent worthy of years of sadness? Can you be devastated by the way divorce changes your life? … Continue reading What kind of loss is harder?

Oldie but Goodie

Yesterday was my son’s 8th birthday. All of his birthdays kick up some emotional dust for me. I rejoice in what an amazing human he continues to be. I grieve that he is one year closer toward individuation and needing to know himself away from us. I remember his eventful arrival and how it birthed a mother, father, grandparents, aunt, and a brand-new nurse (she was in the room and possibly crying more than anyone). And I remember what I wrote half his lifetime ago, after his 4th birthday, that still rings true for me today. So I will share … Continue reading Oldie but Goodie

So Maybe I Did Write One or Two…

If you recently read my Muse-letter that I sent out this week, you know that these last few days have been a celebration of life and loss. Maybe it seems weird to celebrate loss, but if you have been reading along with me these last few months, it’s really not so strange. Loss, death, disappointment, or not getting what we want (even when we work really, really hard for it) shreds a layer or two. We feel raw and grated. Exposed and vulnerable. But what settles in its place are new cells, new skin, new life. The last three years … Continue reading So Maybe I Did Write One or Two…

One Long Night

As the days get shorter and the darkness much thicker, it sometimes feels like we are wading through one long night. The other day my son asked me what my favorite shade of blue was. Sidebar- I love his questions. He didn’t ask me what my favorite color was, but rather my favorite shade of blue. I just love those little moments where you can see and feel their swift minds whirring. So back to my favorite shade of blue. It’s twilight. You know that deep, resonant, silky, purply, dark blue when the sky moves from sunset to night. The … Continue reading One Long Night

Is gratitude enough?

As we approach Thanksgiving and the holiday season in the US, one of the things that gets tossed around is Gratitude.  The Big G.  If you weren’t feeling that grateful, or even worse, were feeling whiny and self-deprecating, this is the week and the season to just snap out of it! This is the season for good tidings, well wishes, thoughts, prayers, and plain ol’ cheer, right? Don’t get me wrong; I love the concept of cultivating gratitude.  There is an intense and dark beauty in being a witness to and feeling appreciation for the ride-or-die friendships or miraculous children that we … Continue reading Is gratitude enough?